If I didn't have such a propensity to research everything to the nth degree on the internet, I would not now be questioning the authority of a priest who I believe to be a good and holy man. I would be accepting his advice, and my conscience would be less troubled than it is now. Who am I, or anyone else, to question what he has told me? Isn't this an unacceptable form of arrogance in me to believe that I know better than him?
New Man and I are still reeling from receiving the news last week that we will almost certainly never be able to conceive naturally. The consultant recommended ICSI. At the moment we're looking into embryo adoption as an alternative.
I'm sorry to say that the pain of our situation is made much greater by what I have read on the internet about the Church's teaching on this issue (despite the priest telling me that we have a medical problem and he believes that, as long as no embryos were destroyed or 'discarded' in the process, ICSI would be an acceptable treatment for that medical problem, since we would be bringing a much-wanted and much-loved child into a Catholic marriage and bringing it up in the Catholic faith), and also by the attitude of some of my friends.
Adoption in the UK these days is a process fraught with difficulty for people like us. We have three major strikes against us in the eyes of social services - namely, that we are middle class, that we're a heterosexual couple who are married to each other, and that we are Catholic. We're just not the sort of people they're looking for. We also have many other problems with the process of adoption here, which I won't go into. Embryo adoption sounds to us like the best solution for all sorts of reasons, but whatever ends up happening, we know we have a hard road ahead of us and are as likely as not to end up having to accept that we will never know the joy of being parents.
I think I'm going to take a break from this blog for a while - maybe for ever - so let me take this opportunity once again of thanking you for your prayers. I hope you'll continue to pray for us as we struggle with this situation we're in.