Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Getting measured

I had my annual appraisal today, and in honour of people management generally, I thought I'd give you this little list of (supposedly true) quotes which have been included on people's appraisal reports. Fortunately, I escaped without any of them appearing on mine today...

1 Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2 His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3 I would not allow this associate to breed.

4 Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

5 When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

6 He would be out of his depth in a puddle.

7 This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

8 She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

9 This associate should go far - and the sooner he starts the better.

10 This associate is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

3 comments:

Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ said...

like it!

Dracunculus said...

Have you been reading the Investment Banking Monkey blog :-)

newhousenewjob said...

Hadn't heard of it, but I just had a quick look - quite amusing (though I'd prefer it with a bit less bad language). I haven't worked in investment banking, but I recognise some of the stuff he's talking about.