Monday, 23 July 2007

Evangelical baptism

An Irishman is shambling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He stumbles into the water and almost bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol. He asks the drunk, ''Are you ready to find Jesus?''

The drunk answers, ''That I am.''

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, ''Brother, have you found Jesus?''

The drunk replies, ''No, I haven't found Jesus.''

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, ''Have you found Jesus, my brother?''

The drunk again answers, ''No, I haven't found Jesus.''

By this time the preacher is at his wits' end and dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and doesn't pull him up until he begins thrashing his arms and legs wildly in the water.

The preacher again asks the drunk, ''For the love of God, have you found Jesus now?''

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher ...

"Are you absolutely sure this is where he fell in?"

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