Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion.
One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his parish priest and asked if he would conduct the funeral.
The priest said, "Oh no, we can't have a funeral Mass for a dog here, but there's a new church down the street that might be wiling."
"Father, do you think £50,000 might be enough of a donation?" asked Farmer McCarthy.
"Well man," exclaimed the priest, "Why didn't you tell me your dog was a Catholic!!!?"