Tuesday, 20 March 2007

Having sons...

OK, I don't have children myself, but I do have nephews and godsons - and I thought of this, which someone e-mailed to me recently, when I read the beginning of Suzanne's latest post. My favourite is number 7 - I'm sure Suzanne will identify with number 17.

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like:

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paintcan, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball along way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego pieces will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


Suzanne Temple said...

A friend of mine, the mother of seven boys, emailed this to me a few years ago. Very amusing.

Simon-Peter said...

Clorox and brake fluid? Excellent: let me pass that along. Does it just smoke or may one expect a loud report?

newhousenewjob said...

Can't help you there - I don't even know what Clorox is. I'm sure you'll report back to the class once you've tried it, though...

Simon-Peter said...

Clorox = domestos

Simon-Peter said...

I just checked your URL for you and it has been blocked in China, just like mine yesterday.

newhousenewjob said...

Ah, Big Bad Dom - I might have to try that! :¬)

Funny my site should be banned in China - I always thought I gave them quite a positive press...

Simon-Peter said...

It was the stuff about Ling that got you, Zen that got me I reckon.